Posted by: Pastor | January 1, 2010

HOT SPOT SHORTAGE

Arundel County, Maryland has agreed to allow gambling casinos in shopping malls. Since West Virginia is in lockstep with its neighboring states when it comes to gambling, how long will it be until we have Hot Spots in our WV malls?

Has the state considered slot machines in restrooms–attached to the inside of the stall door? A lot of gaming time is being wasted–and think of the relief for people who want to gamble all the time! Or, above urinals? Only one armed men might be handicapped in playing a one armed bandit. Think of the tax income going down the drain. Or, what about doctor’s/dentist’s offices? How many hours are wasted in those places? Slot machines could certainly fill a void there. In fact, why couldn’t there be something like portable gaming machines available for those having mammograms, pelvic exams or colonoscopies? It could definitely help take their mind off other things. (A percentage of winnings in doctor or dentist offices could help offset co-pays and insurance costs? Mr. Obama, are you listening?)

Churches? Many of the churches that had bingo parlors have emerged to become Yuppity-doo-dah churches which already offer internet rooms–with cappuccino machines. How difficult would it be to offer online gambling? Besides a fee for the holy Hot Spot, a tithe of the winnings could be credited to the church treasury! Indulgences and penance fines could be paid by winnings! Just think you could help aunt Maude get out of purgatory for gambling by gambling! How sweet is that–especially for Aunty M?

What about funeral homes and cemeteries? There is a lot of dead time in those places–and, people are dying to get in! What about taxis and buses–especially bus stations? Blood banks? Airport check-in lines? Couldn’t judges and magistrates offer convicted criminals double the fine–or nothing? Don’t criminals have the right to gamble?

Can we, in this time of deep economic recession and ten percent unemployment, have too many Hot Spots? Unemployed and poor people need the entertainment from gambling and a place to take their minds off of their abject poverty.

Listen, I think that everyone of us should stand outside these Hot Spots and thank patrons–especially the ones who smoke–for keeping the state afloat by their willingness to pay excessive and regressive taxes on their vices.

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